This is why you’re fat…

You take the elevator up ONE floor- I HATE it when people do this! Come on, take the stairs you fatass… unless you carrying something heavy or rolling something on wheels (the obvi). Lets not be lazy here; take the stairs up ONE floor and stop pissing people like me off!
You don’t walk anywhere- you hop a taxi 3 blocks (we are all guilty of it), you ask a friend to drive you home even though you live down the street, and you pass up every opportunity to walk somewhere. I don’t want to hear that you are broke… stop taking taxi’s, save your money, and WALK!
You don’t cook- “I don’t know how to cook” “I”m a bad cook” “I don’t have time” “I am too tired after work” BLAH BLAH BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. These excuses SUCK. 
a) If you can read, you can cook DUHb) Plan aheadc) Use short cuts (ie: frozen veggies, bagged lettuce, jarred tomato sauce)d) Make simple dishes such as whole wheat pasta. Come on folks, you can figure out how to boil water!e) Practice makes perfect. If you attempt to make a dish and you mess it up, then you learn from it and make it better the next time.
I don’t mean to be harsh but anyone who uses the excuses above is not a retard in the kitchen… they are simply LAZY! Stop ordering out fatty salty meals and make simple, wholesome, easy dishes. Then, you know what is in your food and you know exactly what your eating. 
Simple meals that any idiot can create:
Lauren’s 10 minute stir fry
What you need:1tbsp of peanut oil1tbsp of EVOO 2tbsp of low sodium soy sauce1-2 cups of frozen veggies1 skinless boneless chicken breast (I like the Purdue portioned chicken breasts)optional: 1/2 cup of brown rice
I don’t want to hear the excuse that you don’t have time for the chicken to defrost. Run it under warm water for a few minutes and it will be perfectly defrosted. 
Cut the chicken  into 1 inch pieces and saute until browned. Set aside. Add the peanut oil, frozen veggies, and soy sauce into the pan and cook until tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Throw the cooked chicken back in the pan and mix together until heated through (about 2-4 minutes)
Serve over brown rice or eat as is. ENJOY!!!!!!!!
Whole wheat pasta with turkey meatballs
What you need (if you’re making this for one):
1/2 cup of whole wheat pasta (I use penne)1/2 cup of jarred tomato sauce 3 frozen turkey meat balls- I am obsessed with the frozen turkey meatballs from trader joes (50 cals per meatball)
Boil the pasta until al dente, rinse and drain. While the pasta is boiling follow the directions on the meatball package. I usually stick them in the microwave for about 1-2 minutes flipping them over after one minute. After the pasta is cooked and drained, add the tomato sauce and meat balls. Make sure the sauce coats the pasta and meat balls evenly. I like the cut the meatballs into tiny pieces. If you are making this for more than one person, double up the recipe. It’s super easy, practically idiot proof if you ask me!

Check out why Lindsay thinks you’re fat… hilariousness!


  1. Rebecca says:

    So true! I admit, I am terrible about hitting the gym, but I try to walk as much as possible and I really think it helps. Sometimes when I am bored on the weekends or after work, I pop in my headphones and take a scenic walk. I get lost in the music and it clears my mind :)

  2. Ally Fuchs says:

    Lauren, I make that stir fry too! So yummy. Also, I CAN NOT stand it when people take the elevator up one floor in my building. NOT Ok!! Wonderful blog lovey. Its really great. Love reading it. xo


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